When you have ADHD and you can't pay your rent

It’s not just the fear of the unknown. It’s the disruption of a routine.

Yesterday, I was devastated when I received the news that my landlord announced a 42% rent increase where I live. The sadness was overwhelming, and hiding the tears from my partner, the first thing I did was come to Threads to share it with all of my friends there in search of relief.

I received more than 150 messages, filled with kindness, encouragement, and insightful thoughts—many of which opened my mind and helped me get back on my feet.

Of course, the world doesn’t end just because I have to move. Sometimes it can even be an opportunity, and I want to thank you all for helping me see that more clearly.

We talk so much about ADHD here—after all, it’s the reason we’re connected. And moments like this make us realize how much neurodiversity truly governs many aspects of our lives.

It’s not just the fear of moving or the unknown. It’s the disruption of a routine that I’ve been working so hard to create and maintain.

As you probably know well, for someone with ADHD, any deviation from the mental patterns we could have established feels like a massive rupture, especially if announced by surprise like this one.

Moving is particularly challenging for everyone, of course. But for someone with ADHD and/or autism, the house we live in is more than just our temple, our place in the world: it’s the space where we ground our minds to understand ourselves and connect the dots between us and the world beyond.

It doesn’t matter if the house we live in is rented or owned.

And this is where the real cruelty of the situation lies. Even if the landlord is legally allowed to enforce an increase that forces me to move, is it morally ethical, despite being legal?

A decision that may slightly increase their wealth, but imposes such a drastic life change on a tenant who has never missed a payment in 36 months? Will I be able to rebuild and reestablish the ADHD routines I’ve fought so hard to maintain?

I’m not here to play the victim. Life has many unfair aspects, and we just adapt and go on. The value of real estate in my area has indeed skyrocketed, and maybe my landlord has the right to earn an updated income on his property, who knows?

There’s something strange in the housing system as a whole, and it’s not fair to accuse my landlord of being purely greedy. Or at least the only culprit for my situation.

That’s when ADHD comes in again, but in the sharpest form of guilt.

At times like these, it’s impossible not to hurt ourselves for not saving enough money to secure our own home, for bad and slow decisions made during several career transitions, for not taking advantage of great opportunities that knocked on my door and could have brought me the wealth necessary to avoid this today.

Of course, eventually, I’ll bounce back. As I’m learning the hard way at 45 years old, the ball won’t bounce back by itself, and I’ll need to stay very focused on being productive and finding a way to manage my ADHD symptoms as best I can.

So that my next move will be by my free and active choice, not by the imposition of market forces that crush so many citizens or by my lack of personal resources to cope with them.

Maybe I’m suffering more than necessary, and things might not turn out as difficult as I expect. But one thing is certain: change is always a sensitive issue for someone with ADHD. Interestingly, routine can be just as sensitive. The problem seems to arise when anything disturbs our equilibrium, which is often fragile—whether it’s within a routine or in the realm of diversity.

Thank you for reading and thinking of me.

Josh