Should I tell friends about my ADHD?
Friends and relatives, no matter how much we love them, are not part of our treatment
When it comes to mental health, particularly with conditions like ADHD, it is crucial to rely on professional advice rather than personal connections. This includes your best friend or that brother or sister whom you really rely upon, even if they happen to be specialists in mental health.
The thing is that the potential for personal bias, outdated beliefs, or even a well-intentioned desire to support a friend can significantly affect the quality and accuracy of the advice given.
Imagine yourself, even highly trained professionals can have personal biases that affect their judgment. Being completely isolated from the dynamics and particularities of your life journey. It’s widely accepted that a close friend or relative who is a mental health specialist, whether they are a psychologist, physician, or any other practitioner, will not be able to provide the best advice for your situation. Their professional opinion about you will be corrupted thanks to the influence of personal feelings that typically arise from relationships.
And I’m not talking only when we will choose the professional who will examine our clinical cases to decide for a diagnosis. It is valid even for the cases when all we want is just a simple advice or a clarification.
For instance, when I was exploring my own ADHD diagnosis with my own therapist, I decided to mention it to a close friend, who is a well-respected psychologist in my region. He quickly dismissed my concerns with a sarcastic remark, "ADHD is only something for kids." Despite his alleged expertise, his personal connection to me and his outdated belief opinions led to an unhelpful and dismissive response.
He is part of that not-so-small section of professionals who do not believe there's such a thing as ADHD in adults. What if I had taken him more seriously and opted to put more weight on his opinion? After all, he has more than 20 years of established reputation, and no one would dismiss his authority in his profession.
Thankfully, I simply ignored his stance and kept on investigating with my therapist without updating him further. The friendship was not seriously affected because I never touched the subject again with him. Honestly, I was disappointed, but I managed to avoid being personal and simply went on with my life. Curiously, but thankfully, he never asked me again about the issue.
Avoiding personal connections in matters related to mental health may seem obvious, but in reality, it's hard to resist touching the subject if we have someone professionally related to that in our social circles. It is extremely important to seek out a professional who is not personally connected to you and can provide objective, up-to-date, and unbiased advice.
Misguided opinions from friends or relatives who are also professionals can lead to significant setbacks. Such dismissive opinions can prevent you from receiving the diagnosis and treatment you need, ultimately hindering your ability to manage your condition at its best.
For me, it was a lesson to exercise extra awareness when sharing about ADHD or asking for opinions about it. It's not that it should be a secret matter for us, far from that. But keeping it reserved to a private sphere of our lives will prevent us from unnecessary annoyances and deceptions with nice and close people who really don't wish us harm but may engage in behavior that potentially upsets us.
If you don't feel comfortable, I'm even for hiding your condition from your closest people, provided we have absolutely no reason to be ashamed or disturbed by having ADHD. It's only an attempt to build a practical approach. Why expose our patience, emotions, and energy to a situation where we have few elements to gain?
After all, even if we decide to share our issues, no matter our love or affection for these people, the direction of our treatment will still be guided by a deep truth: it will not be affected by anyone other than you, your therapist, your psychiatrist, or the accredited professional who is taking your case under the right medical care.
