Learn How to Laugh at Yourself with ADHD
It's a powerful strategy that can unlock us in ways we did not expect
For those of us with ADHD, learning to laugh at ourselves is one of the simplest paths to inner peace, resilience, and kindness. It’s not as easy as it seems, nor is it a skill developed overnight. It requires building a lot of self-awareness, and I don’t know if you agree with me, but I personally think it’s essential for managing our ADHD's everyday challenges.
At first, you might think it sounds ridiculous to find humor in all the struggles ADHD brings. And you're not wrong. My initial reaction when I reflect on years of failures and missed opportunities is extreme sadness. It’s no fun realizing how much better life could have been if I'd managed my symptoms sooner.
But the past is in the past, and we need to look ahead. Building self-awareness and, more importantly, self-acceptance is essential. It’s a sometimes painful process, but it's the key to shifting our energy from blaming ourselves and mourning the past to being alright with who we are now. When we stop taking ourselves so seriously, we open the door to laugh at ourselves. ADHD often brings frustrations, and laughing at our quirks can help ease the stress.
We live in a society where everyone is quick to judge, often in unkind ways. This can be especially tough for those of us with ADHD, where impulsivity or forgetfulness can draw unwanted attention. Finding grace in ourselves is a way to break free from the weight of others’ opinions.
How do you achieve this? Here are a few tips.
Align who you are with who you want to be
There’s a difference between who we are and who we want to be. It seems obvious, but with ADHD, this gap can feel even wider. Often, we strive for perfection or to fit in with neurotypical expectations, which can blur the line between reality and aspiration. This constant feeling of falling short creates pressure.
The desire to be something we’re not keeps us from appreciating and valuing who we are. For example, I might struggle with organization, but instead of feeling ashamed, I can accept that it’s part of my ADHD and find humor in my creative solutions to everyday challenges. Laughing at myself and my solutions helps me appreciate the reality instead of clinging to rigid expectations.
Develop selfish intelligence
To laugh at yourself, you need to turn down an excessive focus on yourself and embrace healthy selfishness. It’s easy to get self-obsessed when we have ADHD, but self-obsession feeds personal pride, while healthy selfishness is about doing what’s best for you without worrying too much about others' opinions.
ADHD makes it easy to focus on wanting to be the smartest, most productive, or perfectly organized. These goals can become impossible, leading to frustration. But with healthy selfishness, we accept that we are works in progress, and that our priority is staying true to ourselves. This makes it easier to laugh at our unique quirks and challenges without stressing about what others think.
Judge yourself with kindness
Those of us with ADHD can be our own worst critics. We tend to evaluate ourselves harshly for not meeting expectations or for making mistakes. We might punish ourselves for things beyond our control, like getting distracted or being forgetful.
To laugh at yourself, you first need to be kind to yourself. This means understanding that we are imperfect, unfinished, and fallible. Making mistakes isn’t a flaw—it’s part of being human, and for us, part of the ADHD experience. Laughing at these moments can turn them into opportunities for growth and improvement.
Become your own ally
If you can’t count on yourself, who can you count on? Instead of having a strict, critical inner voice, we should cultivate a more supportive one. With ADHD, this means forgiving ourselves for the inevitable slip-ups, motivating ourselves when focus wanes, and being gentle when things go off track.
Being your own ally doesn’t mean slacking off. Being too hard on ourselves can lead to burnout and frustration. A flexible and supportive approach, on the other hand, fosters balance and self-compassion. We can’t wait for others to build a supportive environment for us: we need to create it ourselves. Laughing off those moments when ADHD gets in the way is a great way to build our own healthy mental environment.
In summary, try to find a reason to laugh every day. With ADHD, things don’t always go as planned, and laughter helps us be less rigid with ourselves. It takes the seriousness out of everyday slip-ups, letting life flow more naturally.
A bit of humor can turn a frustrating day into a lighter one, allowing us to feel better and ease the pressure.
Ultimately, learning to laugh at ourselves isn’t just about humor—it’s about accepting our brains and incorporating what makes us different, turning those differences into strengths.
Learning to laugh at yourself is fundamental for maintaining mental health, especially when managing ADHD. It also makes social interactions smoother. When we realize that pride and perfectionism only get in our way, we open up to more flexibility and ease.
Humor, especially regarding our ADHD traits, helps us become less affected by criticism and unlocks the freedom to live true to who we are!
