It's not cool to have ADHD
We learn for the pain, but there's nothing good about having a disorder
ADHD is not something anyone would want, and I say this from personal experience. If people knew the chaos inside the mind of someone with ADHD, they would never wish to have it! The mental exhaustion we experience on some days, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Only I know how difficult it was to get to where I am. The diagnosis at 42 years old allowed me to embrace myself. The battle now is not to resent the challenges of the disorder, even with proper treatment. I will succeed.
The emotional issues are the worst part of life with ADHD. Raise your hand if you haven't had them... Emotional dysregulation, which has been with me since childhood. It was terrible to go through that without understanding what it was. It still hurts today, and I still carry the weight of insecurity, of not feeling good enough at anything, of always feeling like the worst person and like a leaf tossed in the wind.
In the end, these are things that might haunt me for the rest of my life.
Diagnosis, regardless of what it is, brings relief. It justifies many things. But not every lack of attention, disorganization, hyperactivity, or impulsivity is ADHD. Other psychiatric disorders must be ruled out. There is no symptom exclusive to ADHD. Often, patients arrive at the office already self-diagnosed with ADHD through internet questionnaires. Don't do this, as it's never that simple!
I even think it's better not to take questionnaires. Just seek your doctor and tell them that you identify with typical ADHD behaviors like impulsivity and procrastination. But don't rush to conclude your diagnosis. Your doctor, or your psychologist, is the one who studied for so many years and are experienced enough to make it. They are who will know what's best for you, because a misdiagnosis of a disorder rarely resolves the problems you need to address.
ADHD is noted specifically for being more than just inattention and hyperactivity. These symptoms can overlap with other disorders, requiring thorough consideration. Many people are led to self-diagnose conditions like bipolar disorder or ADHD. There's an observation that individuals tend to self-diagnose more “socially accepted conditions” like ADHD rather than more severe personality disorders.
It's not just ADHD that explains all these complaints. There are many other disorders that need to be excluded and evaluated. That's the point. Not everything is ADHD, no matter how much it may seem like it.
It's painful, traumatic, difficult to handle. There's nothing good about having a disorder. We learn from the pain and seek the best path forward to have a "satisfactory" life—or something similar. But it's a constant effort to overcome and achieve. In the real world, especially professionally, people will rarely sympathize with us for having ADHD. Quite the opposite, they often distance themselves from us.
And when we discover it late, we see that our labels, fears, beliefs, and insecurities were "just" the disorder. That we are not a careless alien who doesn't put things in place, lazy, or a serial procrastinator.
It's not "cool" to have ADHD. If I were offered the chance to choose, I would opt out of having it. But I accept it because there's no option available! And I'm learning every day to be the best version of myself using the tools my condition offers me and trying to overcome the constraints it imposes!