Expectations and ADHD
Learn to contemplate life even when things aren't the way we want
Dealing with expectations is like walking a tightrope between what we desire and what reality has in store for us.
People with ADHD are particularly likely to have problems managing expectations, as we are used to create a perfect script in our minds and push ourselves hard towards this ideal. But when life decides to follow its own plot, we must deal with sadness, frustration, and helplessness while continuing to move forward.
Comparisons with others and social expectations often make us feel inadequate. Difficulty in meeting goals or following a behavioral pattern can lead to a constant feeling of not being good enough.
Overly elaborate expectations, which we can call idealizations, often prove to be deceitful. They make us believe that we can control the future, that we can shape every detail of our lives according to our desires. But in the end, life has its own plans, its own paths, and it's up to us to accept and adapt.
To deal with expectations, we must recognize that control is illusory.
Things won't always happen as we expect, much less as we deserve. Sometimes outcomes are unfair or tragic. Imagining, dreaming, and preparing are essential aspects of life, but nothing guarantees that everything will turn out the way we want.
On the other hand, life is full of pleasant surprises, unexpected moments that can be even better than our most well-thought-out plans. We have to trust the process, the journey, and be open to receiving what life has to offer, even if it's different from what we imagined.
Be rational when creating expectations, especially if you have ADHD. For each case, it is necessary to adjust them. Depending on the situation, it is necessary to think about the size of the prediction we will place on it, and it's also necessary to be careful not to impose our own assumptions on others because choices are made individually.
So, take a deep breath, loosen the reins of control a little, and let life guide you. As much as possible, try to contemplate the surprises, the detours, the twists and turns. Not only contemplating, but accepting them. After all, these experiences are what shape us, make us grow, and make us who we are.
5 Steps to Balance Feelings and Reason so to manage your expectations:
To balance our emotions without losing reason, we can follow some steps and reflect on our actions. Try these exercises:
Dream with your feet on the ground: Think about how your life could be if you surpass real and possible expectations. Have your goals, but always consider that there may be possibilities of them not being fulfilled.
Respect people's individuality: Do not be responsible for the attitudes and expectations of others, and do not expect anything from them. There is no perfect relationship script.
Be resilient: Learn to adapt to places and people and avoid getting attached. Live one day at a time and do not demand more from others than they can offer. Count on surprises and failures.
Face defeats: Recognize your mistakes, face defeats and losses. Step back, analyze the facts, and learn from mistakes. Only then can you rise again.
Practice kindness: Help people, but never expect anything in return. Act with your heart.
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