An ADHD experience on Substack

A source of joy, accomplishment, and anxiety, like almost everything else in my life.

It’s hard to be a Substacker while having ADHD.

Actually, it’s hard to be anything with ADHD, but Substack brings its own challenges.

I absolutely love writing here—bringing content, raising insights, inspiring discussions. Writing a journal has been life-changing for me in many ways (for the better, of course).

But unexpectedly, I discovered a new source of extreme anxiety. I keep separating and searching for themes to write about, and along with the ideas that suddenly pop into my head, I end up with a collection of scattered notes. These are left behind to be revisited, developed, hoping to someday be turned into complete texts.

Of course, I’ve fallen into the same habits of procrastination, delaying, and leaving tasks unfinished, just as I do in other areas of life.

This means I have a bunch of ideas for articles—many of which I’ve done deep research for, found references, and reviewed scientific studies—only to leave them incomplete.

Right now, after publishing more than 50 articles, which is an accomplishment but itself, I have no less than 30 other topics I’ve started developing. At least 10 of them already have a few paragraphs written, ready for the final touches to turn them into polished articles for my dear readers, but...

The more I finish, the harder it seems for my brain to focus on completing the few remaining parts an idea needs to become a finished piece.

And so, I go on, as I always have—postponing everything, focusing on trivial details that I know aren’t central to the process of writing each article, yet I can’t help but focus on them.

As if I’m afraid of finishing an article.

As if I’m afraid of the judgment my work might receive and, in turn, the judgment of myself if it happens to be a poor article.

Adding to this is my deep desire to create a great journal with the best topics for people with ADHD—the most engaging, interesting subjects.

I want to bring the best value to my current dear 567 subscribers, especially my 8 wonderful paid subscribers, who trust in my work, see my potential, and want and are able to support me financially (which, by the way, has made a huge difference for me these days!).

And here I am, writing and publishing something that wasn’t even on the long list of ideas and unfinished articles I have waiting to be polished and shared.

Just like so many other times, skipping over my list of ideas to bring something completely outside of it. If those unfinished ideas were people, they would be so disappointed in me.

And so I carry on, trying not to let my life be defined by the fear of disappointing others.

And hoping, of course, that I haven’t disappointed you.

But deep down, I know you understand me!